I cried today for the first time in about 20 years, now that I'm being honest with myself. I've completely wasted my life, absolutely nothing to show for it. When I was young I was a top student in my country, everyone expected a lot from me. Then I read some evolutionary psychology and I became a nihilist, and it completely ruined me, I lost my motivation for everything. For many years my family were at least a bit encouraging or concerned. But for the last few years it stopped. They don't talk to me, they don't consult me for anything, they don't suggest things to me--they've just given up on me, and today I finally realised I am a complete waste of person, someone who could have done so much with their life. On top of that the fake pandemic to implement Marxist tyranny, and some other major upheavals in the family...I just don't know any more.