Little Hans slowly tries to make his way to his computer. His extreme physical weight makes it much harder for him to navigate properly across the room's floor, littered with empty Mt. Dew bottles and all kinds of various dragon dildos. He seats in his dirty and run-down chair, which groans at the shock of his 200, extremely heavy pounds bearing down on it, and presses the start button on his outdated computer. As his computer boots up with a humming sound, Hans picks up a dossier from the trash-littered floor and examines it. It's his trusty old manual made by the National Action, containing various instructions for debate with Americans in online forums. He proceeds to open the dossier with his fat, and very smelly hands. One of Hans' fat arms accidently knocks down one of his countless empty Vaseline tubes, and underneath exposes an old picture which he had long forgotten. Hans was utterly surprised to see it was still there. "Oh Miranda, you dirty American whore, why wouldn't you love me?" Hans whimpers under his heavy breath. Suddenly, all of his repressed and painful memories back from high school return to Hans. Being rejected by his love, her filthy American friends laughing at him, him starting to cry and running off like so many times before. To this day he remains a bitter and hate-filled virgin. He always blamed the Americans for his own failures. "I don't need this stupid slut anyway, or any inferior 56% American cowgirl for that matter," Hans bitterly mumbles, filled with his own impotent anger, and proceeds to throw the picture of Miranda into the trash, which is already filled to the brim with used Kleenex tissue papers. Finally logging into his computer, Hans is greeted by his home wallpaper, consisting of a huge black cock. After discovering the Internet, he soon found an outlet for his repressed sexuality, by fapping to Somalian cuckold porn. He wanted to approach Abdirahim about his feelings, just so he could lose his virginity before he turned 25. Still, Hans had not found the courage to talk to Abdirahim, or anyone except for his mother after he finished high school, for that matter. "I always just wanted to suck your black dick, Abdirahim," he sighed. Hans opens up his outdated Internet Explorer, and searches on Bing for 8chan's "Monarchist" sub-board. Suddenly, he remembers his mother's words. She always told him to get a job in factory work, or become an electrician like his father, Josef Nowakowakópickówaszk. "Please get a real job, Hans. I'm begging you," she would say. But she just doesn't understand. She doesn't understand how utterly important it is to protect the white nations of Europe from these scumbag American patriots and regular Americans on the Internet, whose ultimate goal it is to wipe him off the map. Hans now begins to type on his keyboard. "Fucking commie 56ers, listen up here..." After a short time of posting on 8chan, Hans is sweaty and frustrated yet again, like so often before. "Fucking amerikkkan scum!" he aggressively yells at his computer monitor. Hans is so upset that he actually knocks his Pinkie Pie pony figure off his desk. Little Hans sniffs his tears away and forces himself to calm down for a little while. "I'm sorry, Pinkie," he says. Hans then turns to his wall, which he has covered in NA, anime, MLP and cuckold posters. In the midst of this most unholy mess is a framed picture with the arched words "Remember Dresden." Now, Hans euphorically salutes his wall, and with a burning passion for Europe in his heart, sitting in his mom's basement, he types endlessly. "Oh, you goshdarn basketball americans..."