I have a lot of downtime at work. I was previously using it to read a lot, but yesterday I forgot my book, so I started writing on my laptop instead. I didn't go in with a plan. Just wrote whatever came to mind. The first thing I wrote started because I remember hearing that it could be a useful emotional exercise to write a letter to someone and never mail it. It started as a venting rant at my high school crush that friendzoned me far too long ago for it to be okay for me to still think about her. But details about my work that are far too personal and would identify me far too much to mention here reminded me of her. So I started writing. A few hours later I had eleven pages. Looking it over, at about five pages in, it started turning into hardcore, extremely degenerate smut. But it wraps around to emotional in the last paragraph or two.
That night I found a thread on this site that got me writing far too much to fit in the character limit, or even several posts of character limits, I guess because I was already in the writing mood. So I had to start writing in an actual word processor just to fit it all. Three and a half pages were directly on the original topic. Sincere advice. Then I started getting a little more narrative with it. Until the end of Page 6 it remained relatively realistic, normal, sincere, but in retrospect, even this section was just the beginning of it turning into hardcore, degenerate smut. By Page 9, it became more degenerate than the first work, even. This one ended up with 17 pages in total.
I'm pretty proud of writing 28 pages in a day. I used to love writing, but college crushed that love right out of me. This is the first time in years I've just let a stream of consciousness happen and written whatever crossed my mind just to get it out. But I don't know if I like what I write now. I'm more skilled than I used to be, but I'm ashamed of just how fucked up I've become. All my emotions were sincere, but I wish they weren't. Maybe it was a good emotional exercise after all. I've articulated things I never knew I could articulate. I can't communicate them properly, but at least I've articulated them. I was gonna post it all here. That's what this post was introducing. But now I'm writing this and realizing some of it might be bad OPSEC and if any of it got traced to me it would be bad. Maybe I could edit it, but still, it's pretty fucking degenerate, in two different and two highly illegal ways. And I wish I could just communicate my fantasies freely, but I don't know if I can, even here, even though I've been on this site and its predecessors for 15 years, even before that girl friendzoned me and I started getting so degenerate.
So I guess my point is
>Yeah smut's allowed here.
But just how smutty are we talking? Just how much degeneracy is allowed in this smut?