Been watching all the Friday the 13th movies. I love them even though they're horrible. With Halloween, I even like the Thorn trilogy, because Loomis and Jamie are actually interesting characters, and Halloween 6 so fucking retarded that it's great. But Friday the 13th never does that. Tommy Jarvis is a cool idea, but he's completely wasted in Part V, so really there are only two movies, IV and VI, where there is truly a recurring character that is of any importance. Even more than every other slasher series, these characters are lame. There is more plot to each movie than most people say, but not by much. But that doesn't matter. The one with the least story is probably Part III, which practically has no story, the most that can be said is "it's the one where he gets the mask," but I'd say it's still one of the best ones, largely just because of the kills. And that's what we're here for, right? Well not really, because these movies are largely so neutered that you barely see anything. So why am I writing about them? I don't know. But I'll keep writing my thoughts anyway, and maybe it will help me figure it out.
So Parts 1-8 have a pretty cohesive story, with some major fuckups, but in a series like this, it's easy to overlook them. As a lot of people are aware, Parts 2, 3, and 4 take place in one massive killing spree. A lot of people say it's over three days, but technically I think more than one day passes in some of these movies, but still. Part IV is technically Monday the 16th or something. Anyway, when you keep this in mind, it actually helps to justify a lot of the dumb decisions made by the characters. It's not that Crystal Lake had four killing sprees by an unstoppable monster, it had three killing sprees: one in 1958, one in 1979, which were later discovered to be the same killer, and she was beheaded. Then there was one more spree by a different guy in 1984. Really, in Parts V and VI, Pamela Voorhees should be a scarier legend than Jason, since she had two sprees to Jason's one. It also makes it a bit more justifiable that people don't believe Jason is back. By the 5th and 6th movies, this seems ridiculous to us, but to them, it's like saying that the Boston Bombers are back. On the other hand, it makes it even more ridiculous that more kids keep coming to Crystal Lake in Parts III and IV, since Jason's murders only happened like last night.
Now the weird part is how once Jason comes back as a zombie and a bunch of cops see him, Part VII still treats him like a legend, and never make any attempt to justify it, like say Nightmare on Elm Street tries to justify people treating Freddy like a legend. And the worst part is they could have justified this easily. Just point out that there were very few survivors, and the whole thing got blamed on Tommy. But instead they just never mention Tommy again. In Part VIII I kind of get it since the guy denying Jason isn't a cop, and seems like he's just trying to shut up the damn kids, regardless of if he believes in the killer zombie or not.
But then speaking of Part VIII, it's a bit sad that the last one with continuity is the one with the biggest continuity problems. How old is that one girl that she saw Jason underwater when he was still a kid? Jason was fully grown by 1984, and it seems like he was just a regular retard until then. So how did she see him as he looked in 1957? Was she over 30 years old? Tommy looks a hell of a lot older in V than in IV, and surely we're not supposed to think V, VI, VII, and VIII all happen in quick succession. Even if they did, this shit has to take place in the 1990s at least. Of course, it's not the first time there have been problems with this. Everyone points out the girl in Part III that saw Jason before and he looked like in Part III even though this should have happened before Part II, but then if I can accept that Jason looks radically different in Parts II, III, and IV even though they take place immediately after each other, I can accept this.
Anyway, back to Part VIII, what the fuck was the ending? So the acid turns him back into a kid? And uh... it's like his inner self, like what he would have looked like if he wasn't a retard? As far as I saw, they just left him there. So by Jason Goes to Hell, did he just age back into an adult, since they just let him live and go free in the previous movie? Of course the New Line movies have effectively no continuity, but still.
I know there isn't much point complaining about Jason Goes To Hell, but how did that bounty hunter know Jason was a body-hopping Deadite? He had never done anything like that before. He was just a retard with tard strength who happened to become a zombie. I actually like this movie overall, but for some reason, this is the part that bugs me. I can accept that it's basically retconned that Jason was a Deadite all along, but not that this guy knew it. Not without more explanation.
Jason X then starts saying Jason has regenerative abilities, which is also technically a new power, but considering all the shit he's been through, this is a lot easier to accept than the fact that his true form is that of a body hopping gremlin that technically isn't even a zombie anymore since he got a brand new body after jumping into his dead sister's vagina and jumping out as a full grown man complete with clothes and hockey mask. Plus, the fact that this movie is so self aware helps you accept whatever it throws at you. Pretty underrated entry, IMO. After eight movies that were effectively exactly the same, and a ninth that was just full retard, this one hit a balance of both kinds of retarded. Though it did bother me that they said the year was 2455, and Jason was frozen for 455 years, even though he was frozen in 2010. They kept fucking up and calculating the date based on the year the movie was made.
Freddy vs. Jason has always felt like wasted potential just because my autism wanted more of a story, but I guess it's what I should have expected from any movie with Jason. I remember when it came out, even all my casual friends were shocked that they didn't say Freddy was one of the councilors that let Jason die, since it was the most obvious thing ever.
I like the remake. I also like that since the franchise has such little story, and after the New Line films, such loose continuity, that you can basically consider it to not even be a remake. Jason lost his mask and then got another sack and eventually another hockey mask. There, it's just the sequel to Freddy vs. Jason now. And then Jason X, beginning in 2010, happens about a year after this movie.
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